Maximizing Performance Through Applied Common Sense*

Do you ever notice in life, there are people who make things happen, people who watch what happened and people who wonder what happened? The population of people who make things happen is entirely too small. That might be you. On the other hand, you may be a person who waits too often; you are more reactive. My experience is that people who are reactive on a chronic basis are generally depressed and unhappy. Why? It’s because they are always waiting for something to happen. Therefore, they are hostage to the next move. So instead, make the first move; ask the person to dance, pick up the phone, and get the results you are looking for. When you take the initiative, you are more in control and when that happens, you are a happier camper.

A lot of people believe that success equals victory. So, if I believe that success equals victory, then for me to prevail means that I have to beat somebody else, which means that I have an adversarial thought process. This is counter-productive to resolving conflict. So what do you do? You change your mind so that success equals advancement; success equals inclusion as opposed to beating somebody else. Think in terms of people working with you as opposed to people as your adversary. When you think in those terms, you are going to resolve conflict faster and frankly, be happier.

You can really disapprove or feel uncomfortable with or disagree with something and yet you still have to accept it. Lots of us have trouble with that. We say things like, “You know, that is completely unacceptable.” What we are really saying is, “I dislike it, therefore, I refuse to accept it.” And yet, the way life works is you can disapprove and you can find trouble with all kinds of things and you still have to accept it. Let’s suppose you disapprove of the sub-terranean that’s marrying your daughter, and yet you still have to accept that person. So think about that. Acceptance is quite different from approval. You will feel better about life.

Some of us have naturally smiling faces, others of us when we are having a good time we forget to notify our face. Research shows that if you smile it is pretty hard to feel bad, so force yourself to smile. The same research also shows that there is an endocrinological change that happens in your body when you smile that actually makes you feel better, so get in the habit of smiling. Even if you feel bad, the more you smile it’s hard to stay feeling bad. The whole notion is when you smile, the whole world smiles with you. And that’s absolutely true. So, show your pearly whites and brighten everybody’s day.

Common courtesy is very uncommon. Do you ever notice that when somebody thanks you, you actually feel good? And yet it is so rare that people actually do it, particularly from the heart. It is even rarer when you get a “thank you” note in the mail. And if you get a “thank you” note in the mail it makes your day. You save it and read it again and again. Why, because “thank you’s” touch people’s lives. So my recommendation is to listen to what your mother told you when you were little and write a “thank you note.” Make somebody’s day and show that you care. That small bit of effort will brighten their day, bring a smile to their face and you will be differentiated in their minds at which point the whole world gets more special. So, remember, thank you very much!