Maximizing Performance Through Applied Common Sense*

Do you ever notice that you will say, “I wanted to ask you…” “What I was going to ask you was…”  “I just wanted to thank you.” When you put your present intentions in the past tense, it waters down your horsepower.  It actually invalidates the message you want to say.  So instead of saying, “I wanted to ask you…” change it to “I want to ask you…” “I want to thank you.”  Put it in the present tense and now you have a lot more horsepower and you are avoiding invalidating your strength.  So, give it a try.  I want you to know that. 

Think about how often you opt for security.  You will stick with the same job you dislike because you’ve got seniority or because you’re vested, you stick with the same mate you dislike because you think, “well, who else will have me?” You stick with a job or some direction where you think you are secure and yet, you are continually reminded of your own dependency. The problem is that when you opt for security and you’re unhappy, then you’re dependent.  If you’re dependent then you are weak and angry.  So instead, consider happiness.  Happiness is when you are in control of your life rather than dependent.  So, jump in the pool, take that risk, off-load that security and you will feel better. 

If you think about your relationship with your mate and one or both of you is full of contempt for the other, that absolutely will kill the relationship. It is the most toxic thing you can do.  If you think about contempt, think about disgust.  If one or both of you, while the other is talking, rolls your eyes, or immediately discounts any initiative at all, and all you are thinking about is contempt, your relationship is doomed. My recommendation is to stop this nonsense right now and end the relationship or go get some professional help.  The likelihood that you are going to fix this without help is remote.  So take this seriously, fix it!