Thursday, August 9, 2012
Sometimes when you’re accurate and you tell people an accurate answer, they have trouble with the way it sounds and they push back. If you say things like, “Generally this is what people do.” The reaction might be, “No, that’s not what I do.” So, how do you get people to accept information? What you do is build in cushion words. Cushion words are words that allow some degree of flexibility so people will be less defensive. So instead of saying, “This is what people do,” you would say, “Often, this is what people seem to do.” If you put the seem to, appears that , etc.., in there, people will accept the information with a lot less resistance and you are going to get your point across. So, put some cushion words in there and it will tend to improve.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Most people when they try to get ideas across, push, they
tell, they get answers. And very often,
the answers are accurate, it’s just that very often you get a lot of resistance. When you tell people advice, very often they’ll
push back. So, what do you do? People will conclude, they’ll adjust, they’ll
sign up, they’ll buy, when in their terms it makes sense for them to do
so. And it makes much more sense when
they come to their own conclusions. The
key is ownership. The key is expediting
the process so people come to conclusions. So, instead of telling answers you want to ask
more questions. When you ask more
questions, you get better results.
People will sign up and only then will they decide to move. So, what are your thoughts?
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Most of the time people are very frustrated because they think that customer service stinks. Part of the reason it stinks is because people are unhappy and the customer service provider doesn’t appear to care. So, therefore, if you are frustrated as a customer you really want two things: first, you want someone to care and give you a sense of understanding that they get it and you want the problem solved. Therefore, if you are in customer service, my recommendation is when you are dealing with the public, try to find out what is going on with them. And if they are frustrated, you can really appreciate why they’re frustrated if you get into their shoes. You can say, “I can certainly see why you are frustrated,” at which point you will calm down their wrath. So show more empathy, it really works!
Friday, July 20, 2012
It is difficult enough to make a marriage good, and when it
is void of empathy, it’s really difficult.
So, what do you do? If you think
about it, what you want to do is get out of your shoes and get into your
partners shoes and try to imagine what they are feeling like. Rather than getting defensive and immediately
getting to that contest of who’s right, instead, say something like this, “That
must be difficult” or “I can appreciate why you think that way.” When you spend more time empathizing on the
front end you’re going to get much better results on the back end. Just simply spend more time empathizing
before you come up with your idea. You will have by far better results and a much happier marriage.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Listening is so essential in marriages, between supervisors and supervisees, and between customer service reps and the market. Very often surveys point to the fact that people really fail to listen. What we need to do is spend more time listening. The way you do it is you listen to what people are saying to you and then you play back what they said, particularly when it is important. So somebody says something and you say, “Let me see if I understand what you are saying, what you are saying to me is… this or that.” When you play back to the person what you thought they said, particularly in the beginning of important conversations you are much more likely to get on track and people will get a lot less defensive.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Sometimes people will make you feel guilty to try to get what they want. Somebody might say, “If you really cared about me you would be here this weekend.” Well, you ever notice that you feel guilty and you are likely to cave in and do their bidding? So how do you overcome that? What you do is divide up the message, after they say it. So, if they say, “If you really cared about me you would be here this weekend.” What you say is, “What are we talking about, how much I care about you or are we talking about the fact that you want me here this weekend? “ When you do it that way, the person is likely to get immobilized at which point you can actually solve the problem without feeling guilty. The key is to off-load the guilt to get to the real point so you can be less hostage to feeling so bad.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Do you ever notice people will go to their neighborhood
travel agent and book a guilt trip and give it to you? “If you loved me you would be here.” “If you really cared about me you would give
me some money.” Do you have family
members who do that to you, they guilt you into getting what they want? Well, it’s counter-productive and it’s
manipulative. So, how do you counter-act
that? What you do is play back to the
person what you thought they said. So,
if they say, “If you loved me, you would be here this weekend.” Then you simply say, “Let me see if I
understand you correctly, are you telling me that if I loved you, I would be
here?” At which point, they are very
likely to say, “well, no, that’s not exactly what I mean, what I really want
you to do is be here.” If you play back
exactly what they said you often will immobilize them and that will get
results.
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