Maximizing Performance Through Applied Common Sense*

Let someone know that you understand what’s going on. Often when someone is complaining to you or fussing about something, you will want to solve it with the illusion that if you offer up the gospel according to you, and deploy it just in time that you are going to get a “Thank You” note. More than half the time they are going to get more upset. So remember, it is effective to simply say, “I understand.” “I understand how difficult it is.” “I understand how exciting it is.” The more you empathize with people the more they feel understood. The more they feel understood, you can actually begin to solve the problem. So instead of offering up the gospel according to you, simply empathize. When you empathize before you solve it, solutions are actually reached.

One of the ways people can really improve their ability to lose weight and keep it off is to monitor the way they feel at the time that they eat. When you put gas in your car, you only do it when the gauge tells you that you are low. Rarely would you ever over-fill it. As a matter of fact, it seems kind of dumb to do that. So, if it is dumb to over-fill your gas tank, why would you over-fill yourself? Think about the gauge. Think about when you are hungry, when you are content, when you are full and when you are stuffed. If you start taking inventory of your gauge, you are much more likely to stop eating when you are full without feeling deprived. So pay attention to the gauge that way you’ll be unlikely to over-stuff.

Often, people speak in dis-jointed thoughts and sentences. What that means is they start an idea, they stop it in the middle, they get anxious then they start another idea stop that in the middle and keep going. Very often it goes something like this, “people talk about, well, actually, they talk about a lot of things, well, it really doesn’t matter. Well, you know. Okay, this is what I am talking about…” When people do that, it is very, very hard to follow them. You might do that. So, what do you do instead? Well, you realize that sometimes your mind is ready for the information sooner than your mouth can get to it. So what do you do? You slow down. You simply complete the thought before you start another one. If you slow down and concentrate on what you are saying, you are much more likely to get complete thoughts and people will have an easier time following you.

Do you ever notice the way people very often forecast failure. They will say things like, “this may be a stupid question” or “you probably won’t like this” or “this may sound kind of dumb.” Do you ever notice that people do that? You might do that. You might actually advertise or forecast failure. You may actually encourage people to think that your question is about to be stupid. Do you ever notice when you do that, you say, “this may be a stupid question” and people think, yep, right on schedule, a stupid question. So what do you do instead? What you do is you actually forecast success. You say, “This may be interesting” or “this may be worth considering” or “I encourage you to consider this.” If you forecast success instead of failure you will get by far better results.

One of the most common habits that people have is they do a self-discount. The self-discount is where you actually water-down your perspective before you even announce it. It’s like saying “well, I’m not very educated about this,” or “I don’t know much about it, but here we go.” It’s like saying, “I’m lucky to be breathing.” So instead of watering it down, how about you actually promote it. Instead of saying, “I’m not very educated about this,” simply say, “Well, from my perspective, here are my thoughts.” You are going to get more attention from people when you actually promote your idea rather than apologize for it. So stop watering it down, it’ll make a difference.

These are habits you have, the way you speak that is often a set-up for a let-down; you shoot yourself in the foot. One that comes to mind is called “putting your present intentions in the past tense”. What that means is you want to do something but you put it in the past tense that sounds like you wanted to do it. People will say, “I wanted to ask you,” “what I wanted to say was,” “I was getting ready to say.” When people say to me, “I wanted to ask you”. I often respond , “well, do you still want to ask me?” Because it is curious, if you say “I wanted to ask you, …” it sounds like you don’t anymore. So what you want to do is take the present intentions and put it in the present tense. So instead of saying “I just wanted to ask you …” say, “I want to ask you …” It makes a BIG difference and you have a lot more power.

When you deliver more than you promise people are pleasantly surprised. It’s like a waiter at a restaurant who delivers outstanding service, and you want to tip him because you are thrilled and surprised that they did so well. So the notion is, if you promise to do X, deliver 5X or 10X and people will be touched and impressed and they will think that you are differentiated from the pack, which is exactly what you want. So dazzle them and deliver more than you promise.