Tuesday, January 31, 2012
If you think about conflict that you’ve been dealing with in one respect or another, you’ll notice that every time you encounter conflict you start to polarize. What that means is that you’ll interpret anything that creates stress from a position of two options. You’ll think about right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, win vs. lose, and all vs. nothing. When you start polarizing you are only thinking two options and you start obsessing about the loss, the nothing, the stupid or the failure. So what you do is make sure that in any situation around which there is conflict, that there are a minimum of three options. You’ll be struck to see that when you offer three or more options any conflict now seems to be manageable. So instead of polarizing, make sure there are multiple options… a minimum of three.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Have you ever noticed that sometimes life turns left when it is supposed to turn right? And if you are like most people you have difficulty reconciling the gap between how you think life should be and how life is. One thing that you can do to help yourself grow up is to remember that life is as it is, instead of how it should be. If you remember life is as it is instead of how it should be then what will happen is that you are going to play the cards that are dealt and you are much more likely to do something rather than just complain about it. So remember, life is as it is instead of how it should be. As a matter of fact, the way it is, is often pretty terrific.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
If you want to keep your marriage healthy it is important to remember this acronym: "To-First." "To-First" stands for the following: Tolerance, Openness, Flexibility, Investment, Respect, Support and Trust. If you can remember these, you’ll think, “To first get my relationship healthy, I have to remember those items.” Tolerance, Openness, Flexibility, Investment, Respect, Support and Trust. When you think of it in those terms, you are more likely to keep it on your radar at which point you are going to improve your marriage’ health.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Do you ever notice yourself returning to the fridge? You have just finished eating something and you go back to the fridge to see what else is in there? You looked in there for the last three minutes; on the other hand, maybe something else magically appeared. The deal is that you return to the fridge out of sheer habit, and often because you are bored or have little to do. The way to change that behavior is to do something different. Instead of saying that you are going to stop going to the fridge, you say that you are going to start doing something else; take a walk around the house, take a walk around the neighborhood, or read a magazine. When you do something other than return to the fridge, you are going to break the habit.
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