Maximizing Performance Through Applied Common Sense*

Do you ever notice people will go to their neighborhood travel agent and book a guilt trip and give it to you?  “If you loved me you would be here.”  “If you really cared about me you would give me some money.”  Do you have family members who do that to you, they guilt you into getting what they want?  Well, it’s counter-productive and it’s manipulative.  So, how do you counter-act that?  What you do is play back to the person what you thought they said.  So, if they say, “If you loved me, you would be here this weekend.”  Then you simply say, “Let me see if I understand you correctly, are you telling me that if I loved you, I would be here?”  At which point, they are very likely to say, “well, no, that’s not exactly what I mean, what I really want you to do is be here.”  If you play back exactly what they said you often will immobilize them and that will get results.