Showing posts with label Dr. Perry's Applied Common Sense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dr. Perry's Applied Common Sense. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
When you think about life, whether at work or at home, you really would like to be told more often what you are doing right. Most of the time there are three options of what you can get: criticism, you can be told what you are doing right or you get nothing (silence). Mostly we get criticism or very little of anything. We want more reinforcement. I encourage you to give more reinforcement. Tell people what they are doing right, write them a note, tell them out loud, or make a toast of them in public. Whatever it is, tell them what they are doing right and be specific. Instead of just saying, good job” say, “I want you to know that you did a wonderful job it added a lot of value and here’s specifically how well you did…” So remember, tell people what they are doing right. You are at low risk of doing it too much.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Do you feel deprived?
If you are like most people who are on crash diets, you feel deprived
and what happens, right on schedule, you sabotage your diet. The reason why diets fail, in addition to you
feeling powerless to control your lifestyle, is because diets are so
restrictive. You might lose weight and
then you gain it right back because you felt deprived for so long. Then you want to reward yourself. So, avoid feeling deprived by eating smaller
amounts of what you want as opposed to huge amounts of everything. Then when you do, you feel much less deprived
and much more in control. The idea is to
change your lifestyle on a permanent basis, so eat in little bits as opposed to
huge amounts at which point you will avoid feeling deprived.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Do you notice how often you’re reluctant to lose weight
because it’s hard to picture yourself slim and healthy? Perhaps you’ve been overweight for so long
that the idea of imagining yourself slim is just unthinkable. Start rehearsing in your mind what you would
look like and how you would feel if you were slim. Imagine yourself slim and healthy and do it
on a regular basis. What are you wearing? Who are you hanging around? What are you doing? The more you imagine and rehearse yourself
being slim and healthy the more you are going to begin to believe that it’s
actually possible. So, rehearse and
duplicate and you will begin to see results.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Most people who have trouble losing weight and
more important, keeping it off, generally feel pessimistic. So how do you overcome your pessimism? You have to reprogram your state of mind to
be one of more optimistic and powerful because most people when they feel
pessimistic generally give up, feel defeated, and sabotage their diet. You want to learn how to change your state of
mind by changing your language from what it is not to what it is. So instead of saying “diets never work,” you
would say “sticking to a diet is a challenge.”
Instead of saying, “I can’t eat that,” say, “I can eat this.” Concentrate on changing your language. Talk about what it is instead of what it is
not and then you will see by far better results.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
If you are like more than half the population out there, you
are over-weight. One in three is obese
in this country; two out of three is seriously over-weight. This means that if you are slim and in shape,
then you are the exception! Well, that
has changed in the last 30 years. Now,
virtually everybody is over-weight. What
do you do about it? The first thing you
need to do is take responsibility for the way you are living your life.
Your health is at risk and you generally avoid doing the things you
really like to do because you are over-weight.
So take more responsibility for now deciding to do something about it
and start anew!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
A leading question is a question that answers “Yes” all the
time, and you start it with “certainly” or “of course.” When you do this, think about what is
obvious. It is curious that when you
point out the obvious, people actually get relived and they are much more
interested in buying or they feel very good about the value. You might say something like this, “Certainly
you are going to want to get the best return on this investment” or “Of course
you’ll want this to come in on time and on budget.” If you remember, pointing out the obvious,
open with “certainly” or “of course,” the person actually likes it and they
feel much better. So, it might work
something like this, “Certainly you are going want to read this blog on a regular
basis.”
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Do you ever notice in life, there are people who make things happen, people who watch what happened and people who wonder what happened? The population of people who make things happen is entirely too small. That might be you. On the other hand, you may be a person who waits too often; you are more reactive. My experience is that people who are reactive on a chronic basis are generally depressed and unhappy. Why? It’s because they are always waiting for something to happen. Therefore, they are hostage to the next move. So instead, make the first move; ask the person to dance, pick up the phone, and get the results you are looking for. When you take the initiative, you are more in control and when that happens, you are a happier camper.
Friday, October 19, 2012
You can really disapprove or feel uncomfortable with or disagree with something and yet you still have to accept it. Lots of us have trouble with that. We say things like, “You know, that is completely unacceptable.” What we are really saying is, “I dislike it, therefore, I refuse to accept it.” And yet, the way life works is you can disapprove and you can find trouble with all kinds of things and you still have to accept it. Let’s suppose you disapprove of the sub-terranean that’s marrying your daughter, and yet you still have to accept that person. So think about that. Acceptance is quite different from approval. You will feel better about life.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
People will resist when they are forced or when they feel forced. Do you ever notice that when you try influence somebody or you try to get them to do something and you have zero intention to try to force them to anything and yet they still resist? Why? Because they feel forced; this means that you unintentionally approach them in such a way that they actually resist even more. They get defensive. So what do you do? You think through about how they might resist and try to position it differently. One of the things I always say is “you reduce resistance by letting people have your way.” If you think about it in that context, you package how you want to approach somebody in anticipation of resistance and then change the approach in such a way that you are going to get less of it.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
People will keep doing what they are familiar with doing
simply because they are familiar with doing it or, people are creatures of
habit. If you run across someone who is
continually critical, all they ever do is judge, they are critical and have a
pejorative nature, and you ask yourself, “Why is that person so critical?”
Well, the answer is, they are good at it.
They have been practicing for a long time. Let’s suppose that that person is you and you
want to change your behavior, you replace the ongoing criticism with ongoing
reinforcement. You have to do it long
enough so that the reinforcement is more frequent than the criticism. The whole idea is that if people are
creatures of habit, you have to get the new habit to stick long enough so that
it becomes routine. So, practice!
Friday, August 24, 2012
When you are listening to children, they often will say things like, “That’s just not fair.” And if you are their parent, you will hear yourself saying “that’s right that is unfair.” On the other hand, if you’re a grown-up, you will notice that you spend a lot of time listening to yourself or other people say, “That’s just not fair.” What they do is they spend more time describing the problem rather than solving it. Well, if you really want to think about it, life is unfair, and life is fair and life is both. So, if you think about it in that context, you are much more likely to want to solve the problem, capitalize on the fair parts and figure out a way to overcome the unfair parts. Life is fair. Life is unfair and Life is both. Play those cards and you will get better results
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Do you know what drives me nuts? It’s that so many people in this country
somehow feel entitled. Somehow they have
this notion that the world owes them a living; poor me, somebody else is
responsible for my problems. I’m not
responsible; somebody owes me money. You know that whole notion that somehow
somebody else ought to be responsible for you? It drives me crazy and it lowers standards in this country. So what do we do about this? Well, if you’re a grown-up, decide that you
are responsible for your behavior you’re responsible for your actions, your
feelings and for your outcomes. When
you’re more responsible you behave more like a grown-up and moreover, you really
are setting a much better example for your kids and for people in the
community. So, take more responsibility
for yourself. Do it now!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Most people when they try to get ideas across, push, they
tell, they get answers. And very often,
the answers are accurate, it’s just that very often you get a lot of resistance. When you tell people advice, very often they’ll
push back. So, what do you do? People will conclude, they’ll adjust, they’ll
sign up, they’ll buy, when in their terms it makes sense for them to do
so. And it makes much more sense when
they come to their own conclusions. The
key is ownership. The key is expediting
the process so people come to conclusions. So, instead of telling answers you want to ask
more questions. When you ask more
questions, you get better results.
People will sign up and only then will they decide to move. So, what are your thoughts?
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Most of the time people are very frustrated because they think that customer service stinks. Part of the reason it stinks is because people are unhappy and the customer service provider doesn’t appear to care. So, therefore, if you are frustrated as a customer you really want two things: first, you want someone to care and give you a sense of understanding that they get it and you want the problem solved. Therefore, if you are in customer service, my recommendation is when you are dealing with the public, try to find out what is going on with them. And if they are frustrated, you can really appreciate why they’re frustrated if you get into their shoes. You can say, “I can certainly see why you are frustrated,” at which point you will calm down their wrath. So show more empathy, it really works!
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